Saturday, December 8, 2007

Call of Duty 5 - WW2??

'Nooooo...' (at the thought of another WW2 shooter)

'NOOOOOOAAAAHRHRCCCCKKKHHHHHHHGGHHH!' (at the thought of crappy-COD3-developer Treyarch taking over the reins from COD4 demi-gods Infinity Ward)

(Ed. This actually sounds like a rumor, but we should all still be praying for Treyarch's immediate demise from the dev scene regardless)

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Think Those Bad Guy Characters Are Fictional? Think Again.

GamesRadar has an amusing look at some of the more criminally-minded celebs to have graced us with their gaming presence...

Name: Tim Allen
Appeared in: Home Improvement (SNES), The Santa Clause 3 (GBA)
Heard in: Toy Story 2 (PC/PSone), Toy Story Racer (PSone)
Rap sheet: Tim Allen's stint in prison is rarely discussed, but hardly a secret; before he was synonymous with family-oriented comedies, Allen (then named Timothy Allen Dick) was a cocaine dealer (Wtf). In 1978, he was nabbed in Michigan while carrying more than a pound (somebody's coke bitch?) of the stuff, and subsequently served more than two years in prison before turning his life around and embarking on a career path that included some of the most aggressively mediocre tie-in games ever made.

Oh, so many more funny ones following the jump below...

Name: Danny Trejo
Appeared in: Def Jam: Fight for NY (PS2/Xbox)
Heard in: Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (PS2/Xbox/PC), Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories (PSP/PS2)
Rap sheet: In movies or in games, Danny "Machete" Trejo has always been a scary-ass mofo, largely because he used to be one in real life. Specific details about his early life of crime are sketchy, although in an interview with the UK Guardian, he claims to have started by smoking pot at eight, doing heroin at 12 and then graduating to armed robbery, all of which put him in and out of jail through his teenage years before finally landing him in at least three separate California prisons between 1963 and 1972. Prison boxing and a 12-step program helped Trejo turn his life around, and his record since his release has been spotless. Of course, that doesn't make him any less fun to play as in the raptastic Def Jam: Fight for NY, in which you can put his tattooed muscles and intense, mustachioed glare to good use hurling Flavor Flav through a penthouse window.

Name: Steve-O (aka Steven Glover)
Appeared in: Jackass (PS2/PSP/DS), ESPN NFL 2K5 (PS2/Xbox), Tony Hawk's Underground 2 (PS2/Xbox/PC/GC), Tony Hawk's Underground 2 Remix (PSP)
Rap sheet: We never knew this before, but it turns out that getting naked in public and stapling your nutsack to your thigh isn't just a good way to have fun without drugs or alcohol - it's illegal, especially if you do it in Louisiana. Steve-O's most infamous run-in with the law began when the hyper-obnoxious and frequently nude Jackass star performed the "Butterfly" stunt at the Abyss nightclub in 2002, after which he was arrested, charged with obscenity and assault and eventually put on probation and barred from ever performing in Terrebonne Parish, Louisiana again. Later incidents saw Steve-O arrested for trying to smuggle drugs into Sweden in 2003 (for which he paid a fine and admitted to drug possession), and charged with disorderly conduct after publicly pissing on potato chips (yes, really) during a Lollapalooza show in Pennsylvania.

Name: Macaulay Culkin
Appeared in: Home Alone (NES/SNES/GB/Genesis/Game Gear/PC), Home Alone 2 (NES/SNES/GB/Genesis/PC)
Rap sheet: Frankly, we're not really surprised that a former child star with a private life as reputedly effed-up as Culkin's has been arrested. What surprises us is that he's apparently been arrested only once, after Oklahoma cops found him carrying weed and prescription drugs during a traffic stop in 2004. After posing for a gruesome mug shot and being briefly jailed, the kid we fed to giant evil Christmas trees in Home Alone 2 was sentenced to drug counseling. Not exactly a harrowing tale of steel bars and hard time, but we are only getting started.

Name: Paris Hilton
Appeared in: Paris Hilton's Diamond Quest (mobile)
Rap sheet: Everyone already knows that media target/attention whore Hilton was jailed for 22 days in June 2007, after repeatedly violating her probation and driving with a suspended license after her 2006 arrest for driving under the influence of alcohol. What you might not have known is that she also starred in her own cell-phone game, Paris Hilton's Diamond Quest, an odious piece of vanityware described by IGN as a hybrid of casual games Bejeweled and Jewel Quest. And that's really all that's notable about Hilton's connection to the world of gaming, aside from the fact that she was roundly ridiculed for getting the name of her own game "wrong" during a press event at E3 2006. Whether the title was changed because of her flub is up to history to decide, mainly because we don't care enough to take even a cursory look into it.

Heaps more on the GamesRadar site here

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