Thursday, June 28, 2007

The 5 Worst Ways to Die in an FPS

UPUP has an amusing read for all you hardcore FPS geeks out there; a collection of 5 ways all of us n00bs get fragged as soon as we have a new shooter to play. More after the jump. Enjoy.

5 - The “Other” Nade Kill

Counter-Strike Source is a fairly new game. A hybrid between the Source engine and Counter-Strike, this popular mod is the top shooter of the decade. Little remains changed from the original game, but a key element was noticeably re-done for Counter-Strike Source, the grenade.

Grenades in Counter-Strike Source throw differently than in the original Counter-Strike. Flashbangs produce greater and longer lasting effects, while smoke grenades produce a pure black smoke which is impossible to see through when inside. When grenades are thrown at enemies or teammates, they take away a measly 1 hit point in damage. It is sad to die by this. Even though you know you have 1 hit point left, you don’t want to die from a smoke grenade or flashbang. When it happens, it’ll definitely attract a good amount of “LOL” remarks.

4 - Crushing People

This isn’t a well-known technique, at least in First-Person Shooters. Crushing sounds like it was taken straight of Mario, but it’s there in some shooters. One in particular is the fast-paced Unreal Tournament 2003/04 series. Jumping on an enemy’s head does 1 damage for each successful bounce. This is often discovered by people on accident, but on rare occasions will sadly frag a player with low HP.

3 - Cratering

Cratering is included in nearly every First-Person Shooter. Player A decides to go next to a cliff. Player B can either blast him off the cliff, or just watch him accidently jump off and plummet to a quick death. This is one of my favorites to see happen in live action. It’ll often cause me to outburst in laughter, how can anyone be so stupid to fall off the cliff? Surely enough the next time I play the same game and map, I find myself to be the one falling off the exact same cliff -_-. Definitely a worthy embarrassing death.

2 - The Shank

The shank, a classic in all shooters. There is always that one melee weapon that nobody ever uses other than for the sole purpose to embarrass someone with. The shank is by far the weapon to embarrass any gamer with.

The most popular shank to date is obviously the knife in Counter-Strike. Sneaking up to an unsuspecting enemy and sticking that cold steel in his back is as rewarding to you as it is degrading to the opponent. We’ve definitely all been there and done that in Counter-Strike.

One of the more hardcore shanks definitely has to be the Gauntlet in Quake III Arena. This fast paced game rarely sees action from this weapon, but it is absolutely the greatest embarrassment shank to date in any game. Not only are you killing a person with a melee weapon in a world of Railguns and Lightning Guns, but the announcer indulges in the action by calling out the kill with the famous quote, “HUMILIATION!”

1 - The Telefrag

Telefragging has become an art in First-Person Shooters. Suprisingly, telefragging has been around since Doom. The embarrassment still remains impassable in most cases. Gamer A has 12hp, and desperately needs a frag to kill his stacked opponent, Gamer B. With health and armor in the triple digits, Gamer B has no idea where he is standing. Gamer A suddenly enters the entrance to the portal which warps him inside of Gamer B, instantly gibbing him. The player of Gamer B goes on to mash his keyboard in, while Gamer A spams “LOL” a million times through text.


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