Wii: Fuck You Nintendo, I Won't Play Your Wii

If you:

a) Remember Matthew Broderick as being the coolest actor of his time

b) Have owned every (or nearly every) single video game console ever made

or

c) Are a 'casual' gamer who loves owning a Wii and inviting 'friends' round to play virtual tennis

I highly recommend you read this blog post from my new favorite blogger. To quote (and whip up that appetite of yours):

(A) casual gamer is a term for someone who fucking sucks at video games, but plays them once in a while so they fit in with other beings of superior intelligence and manual dexterity. I’m a casual gamer for games that suck – I play them for 10 minutes and I shut them off – permanently.

If you can handle more - read on, this guy is brilliant. Link here (TommyV2)

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Call of Duty 5 - WW2??

'Nooooo...' (at the thought of another WW2 shooter)

'NOOOOOOAAAAHRHRCCCCKKKHHHHHHHGGHHH!' (at the thought of crappy-COD3-developer Treyarch taking over the reins from COD4 demi-gods Infinity Ward)

(Ed. This actually sounds like a rumor, but we should all still be praying for Treyarch's immediate demise from the dev scene regardless)

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EDGE Scores Mass Effect 7/10 In December Issue

Coming from the notoriously finicky gaming magazine EDGE, a 7/10 score is actually quite decent. But when we are talking about one of Microsoft's biggest blockbusters for the Xbox 360, things start to look a little shaky. EDGE has only ever given out five 10/10 scores in just over nine years, but in the last three months Halo 3, The Orange Box, and now Super Mario Galaxy have all been made recipients. I'm a big fan of EDGE normally and have more respect for them than any other gaming publication. Still, I was very surprised to see the 10 given to Halo 3. Anyway, here are the rest of the scores:

Super Mario Galaxy - 10
Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune - 8
Assassin’s Creed - 7
Crysis - 9
Mass Effect - 7
Call of Duty 4 - 9
Kane and Lynch - 6
Tony Hawk’s Proving Ground - 6
The Simpson’s Game - 5
Zack and Wiki - 8
The Witcher - 5
Bladestorm - 8
Castlevania Dracular X - 7
Silent Hill Origins - 7
Hellgate: London - 6
Timeshift - 6
Mutant Storm Empire - 8
Guitar Hero III - 6
Beowulf - 5
Need for Speed: Pro Street - 6

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WTF: Nintendo Wii vs. Vii Rush

I know this is quite old, but I could only find photos of this before - now at least we've got some info regarding this Chinese-brand Wii rip-off. More after the jump.


And just remember this is all translated from the Chinese Engadget via Google Translate:



Let us close this feeling under VII products: power rods vii, of the 2.4 g shock wireless controller. 360°感应玩家动作。 360 ° induction player moves. 定位是5岁+的儿童及其家庭，目前售价为1,280元（奇怪，好像之前是说不到1000RMB），虽然游戏扩展性不佳，但显然是为了蚕食WII没进入中国留下的市场空白，这款产品大约在10月底11月初上市。 Positioning is the age of 5 + children and their families, currently sells for 1,280 yuan (strange, as if that is less than before 1000 RMB), although the poor scalability of the game, but apparently not to erode WII entered the Chinese market left blank, this product around the end of October early November listing.




我们只能说，任天堂可能得重新考虑是否进入中国了，XBOX是不是也要紧张下，哪天跑出个中国版，别怪我们没提醒哦。 We can only say, Nintendo may have to reconsider whether to enter China, Xbox is also tense, which day outside the Chinese version, we do not blame remind oh. 瘾科技想听听大家对这款产品的更多观点。 Addiction Technology want to listen to your more of this product perspective.



Engadget China has more here (source)

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Wii: Rockstar's Table Tennis

Just goes to show cool, funky music doesn't always make a trailer good...

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Wii: Subliminal Homophobic Message In Super Mario Galaxy Boxart?

You be the judge: Read only the letters that have a star underneath them.


Which appear to spell: U R MR GAY. No shit, although surely it isn't the first time any self-respecting Wii owner has secretly thought that while batting invisible tennis balls or doing virtual air-trouser-snake-jiggles in front of a room full of girls in Warioware (but at least I wasn't the one-with-far-too-much-time-on-their-hands who discovered it.

Nope, these guys were.

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Wii: Nintendo Making US$49 Profit Per Wii Sold

While Sony faces another 18 month wait before turning a profit on the PS3, and profits for Microsoft have been put back another year by the US$1 billion+ repair bill for the error-prone 360, Miyamoto and co. over at Nintendo are laughing all the way to the bank after only 9 months on the market. More after the jump...


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TECH: Winamp Lets You Take Over Anyone's Boombox

Remember those house parties you went to that only played lame-ass James Blunt songs? How you'd be having a great time only for someone to get on the stereo with a fat stack of Billboard Top 40 Hits compilations? Fret no more, you big music-nazi, the latest version of Winamp will reportedly let you play your MP3 collection from your home PC to any internet-connected PC, PS3, Wii or even mobile phone, provided you have your home PC connected to the internet with Winamp open on the desktop. More after the jump. Oh yes, parties are suddenly an option again.

The product is relatively simple; users store their music files on a PC with Winamp running. Then they enable the application for remote access. After setting that up, users fire up the Wii or PlayStation 3 web browser and head to http://winamp.com/remote to sign in. As long as the host PC is on, has Winamp running and connected to the Internet, the user can allow a friend to stream music and video from that machine too. If the user was on the road, at a party, over a friend's or trapped in a coffee house with bad music, they can access their tunes remotely from anywhere with an Internet connection. Gamers with old PCs can either use their current PC to stream the media or take an older PC (at least with a 2.4 GHz CPU) and use it as a makeshift media center. (source)

This is likely to open your PC up to resemble mosquito fly netting in terms of security, so be warned...

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Wii: Nintendo May Launch High-Definiton Wii

Industry analyst Michael Pachter has suggested that Nintendo may reverse its decision to stick to a 5yr release schedule and launch a High Definition Wii in 2-3 years to appease consumers -and about time too. While its all fun and potentially pant-wetting to play Warioware and those other low-def Wii games, what did we all buy our expensive HDTVs for? More after the jump.

"Consumers may hope for improved graphics, and my guess is that Nintendo will comply," said analyst Michael Pachter in an email to GamePro.

"In two or three years, commodity prices for graphics processors and CPUs may decline to the point that a High Definition Wii could be introduced. If so, Nintendo will likely introduce one," he added.

The statement comes as several industry pundits suggest that Wii's success will gradually fade given the console's dated graphics technology. The long-standing argument is that both core and casual gamers will grow wary of Wii's novelty once Xbox 360 and PS3 graphics hit their full stride. (source)

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Wii / 360: Bully: Scholarship Edition Announced

Rockstar Games is proud to announce that Bully: Scholarship Edition is coming to the Xbox 360 and Wii in time for winter this year. More after the jump.




Both the Wii and Xbox 360 versions will retain the wit and deep gameplay of the previously released PlayStation 2 title and will boast additional new content. Bully: Scholarship Edition takes place in the fictional New England boarding school of Bullworth Academy, and tells the story of 15-year-old Jimmy Hopkins as he experiences the highs and lows of adjusting to a new school. Capturing the hilarity and awkwardness of adolescence perfectly, Bully: Scholarship Edition pulls the player into its cinematic and engrossing world. Universally acclaimed upon first release, Bully: Scholarship Edition is a genre-crossing action game with a warmth and pathos that is unrivaled. (source)

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Wii Sales Close in on Xbox 360

After only 9 months on the market, the Nintendo Wii has amassed sales of 9.27 million worldwide at the end of June 2007, compared to 11.6 million for the Xbox 360, which has been on the market now for almost 20 months. What exactly does this mean? More after the jump...

All of this means that Nintendo's strategy of pushing for the mass market -both in game design, hardware innovation and pricing, has paid off immensely. It means Nintendo is going to sweep the floor with both Sony and Microsoft in the next-gen console war.

Microsoft's Entertainment Division are struggling to break even; battling law-suits over the chronic Red Rings of Death Xbox 360 syndrome, and facing down a US$1.2 billion bill for extending the 360's warranty to 3 years. Sony have just limped to their first million Playstation 3 sales mark, and although things are on the upturn for June and July, it will be a long while yet before Sony recoups anything from the massive investment gamble that was the PS3.

Meanwhile, Nintendo have the enormously successful DS, and the rampaging success of the Wii still to unfold. With Sony realistically out of the race for the next six months, how do things look between Nintendo and Microsoft?

The latest figures exhibit a difference of 2.33 million units between the two consoles. The Nintendo Wii retails for $250, while the most inexpensive Xbox 360 configuration sells for $300. Hard drive-equipped models sell for $400 and $480. To date, PlayStation 3, which recently dropped in price to $500 in the US, has sold around 3.38 million units worldwide. Global sales of the DS handheld hardware stand at 47.27 million units. Nintendo today announced net income of 80.3 billion yen ($668 million) for the quarter ended June 30, 416 percent year-over-year increase. The firm in effect raised full-year net sales forecasts to 1.4 trillion yen from 1.14 trillion yen.


Source

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E3: Gamecritic's Best of E3 2007 Awards

Gamecritic has posted a roundup of the best games from all different genres from E3 2007. Heavenly Sword, Burnout Paradise, Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock, Little Big Planet, Halo 3, Call of Duty 4, and the big gun -Bioshock (360 / PC) taking away most of the nominations. September and August are looking like mighty fine months for gamers everywhere. Follow the jump below...

Best of Show
- Bioshock (Irrational Games/2K Games for PC, Xbox 360)
- Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (Infinity Ward/Activision for PC, PS3, Xbox 360)
- Fallout 3 (Bethesda Softworks for PC, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360)
- Mass Effect (Bioware/Microsoft Game Studios for Xbox 360)
- Rock Band (Harmonix/MTV Games/EAP for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360)



Best Original Game
- Bioshock (Irrational Games/2K Games for PC, Xbox 360)
- de Blob (Blue Tongue/THQ for Wii)
- Little Big Planet (Media Molecule/SCEE for PS3)
- Rock Band (Harmonix/MTV Games/EAP for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360)
- Wii Fit (Nintendo for Wii)


Best PC Game
- Call of Duty 4 (Infinity Ward/Activision)
- Crysis (Crytek/Electronic Arts)
- Enemy Territory: Quake Wars (Splash Damage/id/Activision)
- Fallout 3 (Bethesda Softworks)
- World in Conflict (Massive Entertainment/Sierra)


Best Console Game
- Bioshock (Irrational Games/2K Games for Xbox 360)
- Call of Duty 4 (Infinity Ward/Activision for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360)
- Mass Effect (BioWare/Microsoft Games Studio for Xbox 360)
- Rock Band (Harmonix/MTV Games/EAP for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360)
- Super Mario Galaxy(Nintendo for Wii)



Best Handheld Game
- Contra 4 (WayForward/Konami for Nintendo DS)
- Dead Head Fred (Vicious Cycle/D3 for PSP)
- God of War: Chains of Olympus (Ready at Dawn/SCEA for PSP)
- Silent Hill: Origins (Climax/Konami for PSP)
- The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass (Nintendo for Nintendo DS)


Best Hardware
- PSP-2000 (Sony Computer Entertainment)
- Rock Band Instruments (Harmonix/MTV Games/EAP for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360)
- Wii Balance Board (Nintendo for Wii)
- Wii Zapper (Nintendo for Wii)


Best Action Game
- Call of Duty 4 (Infinity Ward/Activision for PC, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360)
- Crysis (Crytek/EA for PC)
- Halo 3 (Bungie/Microsoft Game Studios for Xbox 360)
- Metroid Prime 3: Corruption (Retro Studios/Nintendo for Wii)
- Unreal Tournament 3 (Epic Games/Midway for PC, PlayStation 3)



Best Action/Adventure Game
- Assassin’s Creed (Ubisoft Montreal/Ubisoft for PC, PS3, Xbox 360)
- Bioshock (Irrational Games/2K Games for PC, Xbox 360)
- Heavenly Sword (Ninja Theory/SCEE for PlayStation 3)
- Super Mario Galaxy(Nintendo for Wii)
- Uncharted: Drake's Fortune (Naughty Dog/SCEA for PlayStation 3)


Best Fighting Game
- Naruto: Rise of a Ninja (Ubisoft Montreal/Ubisoft for Xbox 360)
- Virtua Fighter 5 (Sega for Xbox 360)
- WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2008 (Yuke’s/THQ for Nintendo Wii)


Best Role Playing Game
- Eternal Sonata (Namco Bandai Games for Xbox 360)
- Fable 2 (Lionhead/Microsoft Game Studios for Xbox 360)
- Fallout 3 (Bethesda Softworks for PC, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360)
- Hellgate: London (Flagship Studios/EAP for PC)
- Mass Effect (BioWare/Microsoft Games Studio for Xbox 360)


Best Racing Game
- Burnout Paradise (Criterion Games/EA for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360)
- Need for Speed ProStreet (EA Black Box/EA for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360)
- Project Gotham Racing 4 (Bizarre Creations/Microsoft Game Studios for Xbox 360)
- Stuntman: Ignition (Paradigm/THQ for PS2, PS3, Xbox 360)


Best Sports Game
- Madden NFL 08 (Tiburon/EA for All Systems)
- Skate (EA Black Box/EA for PS3, Xbox 360)
- Tiger Woods PGA Tour 08 (Tiburon/EA Sports for PC, PS3, Xbox 360)
- Tony Hawk's Proving Ground (Neversoft/Activision for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360)


Best Strategy Game
- Sid Meier's Civilization Revolution (Firaxis/2K Games for PS3, Xbox 360, Wii)
- Company of Heroes: Opposing Fronts (Relic/THQ for PC)
- Halo Wars (Ensemble Studios/Microsoft Game Studios for PC, Xbox 360)
- Universe at War: Earth Assault (Petroglyph/Sega for PC, Xbox 360)
- World in Conflict (Massive Entertainment/Sierra for PC)


Best Social/Casual/Puzzle Game
- Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock (Neversoft/Red Octane/ATVI for PS2, PS3, 360, Wii)
- Little Big Planet (Media Molecule/SCEE for PS3)
- Rock Band (Harmonix/MTV Games/EAP for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360)
- Wii Fit (Nintendo for Wii)
- Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros' Treasure (Capcom for Wii)


Best Online Multiplayer Game
- Burnout Paradise (Criterion Games/EA for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360)
- Enemy Territory: Quake Wars (Splash Damage/Nerve/id/ATVI for PC, PS3, 360)
- Halo 3 (Bungie/Microsoft Games Studio for Xbox 360)
- Little Big Planet (Media Molecule/SCEE for PlayStation 3)
- Unreal Tournament 3 (Epic Games/Midway for PC, PlayStation 3)


Click here to find out detailed publisher / developer nominations


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PC: Why PCs are Better than Consoles

1. I can frag my best friend in the face, and then alt-tab to an Excel spreadsheet to record my headshot-to-kill ratio. Afterwards, I’ll e-mail him a bar graph detailing how much I own.

2. Dual monitor setups create situations where it’s hard to decide whether to look at my game on the left, or the video of a midget humping a dog on my right.

3. The decreased weight of my wallet directly leads a self-esteem boost when I step on a scale.

4. Hacking is more widespread, making the games more challenging. After you beat the single player on the hardest difficulty, come to multiplayer, where the script kiddy on top of the scoreboard can see through walls. The most intuitive AI you’ll ever face.

5. Windows Vista. Because, you know, Microsoft said so.

Source

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E3: Wii Fit(ness)

Wii Fit (or Wii Fitness in Europe) is an upcoming fitness simulator coming for the Wii and developed in-house by Nintendo. At Nintendo's E3 media briefing, it was demonstrated by the man himself, Shigeru Miyamoto, to a packed crowd. Wii Fit uses a unique accessory called the Wii Balance Board that measures a person's body mass index and their center of gravity. Activities included yoga poses, press-ups and roughly 40 other different exercises.



More after the jump


Wii Fit was first revealed as Wii Health Pack, by Shigeru Miyamoto, during a conference in mid-September of 2006. Then described as a "way to help get families exercising together", the game idea had first been included in Miyamoto's original design document for the whole Wii Series, the entirety of which was scribbled down on a single sheet of paper.



As with other games designed by Shigeru Miyamoto, such as Nintendogs and Pikmin, the design of Wii Fit was influenced by the activities in Miyamoto's day to day life. Miyamoto states that he and his family had become more health-conscious, going to the gym and tracking their weight. He found that it had become "fun over time to talk about these things", and as weighing yourself "didn't make much of a game", they decided to build games around the idea to mesh with the concept.



The Wii Balance Board



It should also be noted that Miyamoto made clear the Balance Board could be used by developers in creating games other than fitness, and mentioned skateboarding and snowboarding games specifically.



Currently, only a few of the activities available for exercise in Wii Fit are known. These include:

* Yoga exercises
* Press ups
* Step aerobics, including a game in which the player must step on and off the Wii Balance Board in rhythm to the background music
* Hitting on-coming soccer balls with your head
* A ball-rolling mini-game
* Hula hooping
* Ski jumping, whereby the player squats as low as possible, whilst maintaining their balance, and then quickly stands as fast as possible in order to gain a good jump. (source)



Awesome.

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E3: Metroid Prime 3: Corruption

Metroid Prime 3: Corruption is a continuation of the Metroid Prime series from Retro Studios and published exclusively by Nintendo. It is currently set for release on August 27th, 2007 in the US, and a 26th October release in Europe. No official word has been heard of late, with Nintendo simply stating "it will be ready when ready, and not before". That sounds like a case of the delays to me.



After the events of Metroid Prime 2: Echoes, the Galactic Federation contacts Samus Aran to investigate a malfunctioning network computer known as the Aurora Unit. The Federation believes the Space Pirates, their long-time enemies, have infected the Aurora Unit with a virus. Subsequently, the Space Pirates attack one of the Federation's bases, and begin to overrun the Federation's defenses. Samus, along with other bounty hunters, must work together to fend off the siege, repair the Aurora Unit, and also defeat enemies from the past game.


The game’s director, Mark Pacini, has stated that Phazon, a fictional mutagenic element will also play an important part in the game’s plot. Pacini elaborated that, "Samus herself gets corrupted by Phazon and actually begins to develop abilities based on that Phazon. So that's kind of why the game is titled "Corruption". You yourself are becoming corrupted". Dark Samus, a sinister doppelgänger, will also return as one of Samus' antagonists. The game will also feature several new and returning bounty hunters. (source)



Metroid Prime 3: Corruption will be the first game in the series to feature full voice acting. At the media summit held by Nintendo in May, 2007, Reggie Fils-Aime compared Corruption to the rest of the series by saying "it has never been played this way before". He also noted that Nintendo employees who had seen the game in action claimed it "will reinvent the control scheme for a first-person shooter", and that the game is the closest a console title can get to PC control.

More screenshots here

Utilizing the Wii Remote and Nunchuk, the player can point the arm cannon with the Wii Remote pointer and use the grappling beam by moving the Nunchuk. Players can choose whether to use the A button or B trigger for firing. The remaining button is used to jump. (source)

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E3: Super Mario Galaxy

At long last do we see some sign of a Nintendo offering at E3 2007, and with it, is the trailer for Super Mario Galaxy -one of the most hyped games for the Wii this year. Enjoy.


Super Mario Galaxy is perhaps the mostly highly anticipated (what is this, the most highly anticipated week?) game coming out -in terms of just how many people around the world are waiting for it. Forget Halo 3, forget Killzone 2 and Heavenly Sword -Super Mario Galaxy has probably every single gamer on this planet itching to play it. Bar none. Except those too dumb to bask in some good ol' Mario fun.

Most of the game takes place in outer space along a vast stretch of miniature planets and planetoids. Mario can jump from planet to planet defeating enemies and picking up various items along the way. Each planet's gravitational force will keep Mario from flying off into space, but each planet has a different gravity, and such, has different effects on Mario's movement.



The point of the game is to collect stars and Mario will face massive bosses along the way, ranging from towering mechanical bosses, an octopus in a pit of lava, to flower headed monsters with dinosaur-like bodies. The game is completely in 3D and you can expect to use the full range of traditional Mario moves like the spin attack. Mario is also expected to be able to fly -using a "Bee-Suit". Expect much from this. Nintendo has to silence the critics that the Wii is anything but a one-hit wonder.

Below is a test market video from E3, where a bunch of gamers got their lucky mitts on the demo.



And here is the latest developer walkthrough video from Super Mario Galaxy

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Wii: Games for the Summer

IGN has posted a list of upcoming Wii games to look forward to for the summer (note: apparently Americans count September as summer. I guess it makes sense seeing as everything else is bigger over there too)



Click here to read the full list




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The 5 Worst Ways to Die in an FPS

UPUP has an amusing read for all you hardcore FPS geeks out there; a collection of 5 ways all of us n00bs get fragged as soon as we have a new shooter to play. More after the jump. Enjoy.

5 - The “Other” Nade Kill


Counter-Strike Source is a fairly new game. A hybrid between the Source engine and Counter-Strike, this popular mod is the top shooter of the decade. Little remains changed from the original game, but a key element was noticeably re-done for Counter-Strike Source, the grenade.

Grenades in Counter-Strike Source throw differently than in the original Counter-Strike. Flashbangs produce greater and longer lasting effects, while smoke grenades produce a pure black smoke which is impossible to see through when inside. When grenades are thrown at enemies or teammates, they take away a measly 1 hit point in damage. It is sad to die by this. Even though you know you have 1 hit point left, you don’t want to die from a smoke grenade or flashbang. When it happens, it’ll definitely attract a good amount of “LOL” remarks.

4 - Crushing People


This isn’t a well-known technique, at least in First-Person Shooters. Crushing sounds like it was taken straight of Mario, but it’s there in some shooters. One in particular is the fast-paced Unreal Tournament 2003/04 series. Jumping on an enemy’s head does 1 damage for each successful bounce. This is often discovered by people on accident, but on rare occasions will sadly frag a player with low HP.

3 - Cratering



Cratering is included in nearly every First-Person Shooter. Player A decides to go next to a cliff. Player B can either blast him off the cliff, or just watch him accidently jump off and plummet to a quick death. This is one of my favorites to see happen in live action. It’ll often cause me to outburst in laughter, how can anyone be so stupid to fall off the cliff? Surely enough the next time I play the same game and map, I find myself to be the one falling off the exact same cliff -_-. Definitely a worthy embarrassing death.

2 - The Shank

The shank, a classic in all shooters. There is always that one melee weapon that nobody ever uses other than for the sole purpose to embarrass someone with. The shank is by far the weapon to embarrass any gamer with.

The most popular shank to date is obviously the knife in Counter-Strike. Sneaking up to an unsuspecting enemy and sticking that cold steel in his back is as rewarding to you as it is degrading to the opponent. We’ve definitely all been there and done that in Counter-Strike.

One of the more hardcore shanks definitely has to be the Gauntlet in Quake III Arena. This fast paced game rarely sees action from this weapon, but it is absolutely the greatest embarrassment shank to date in any game. Not only are you killing a person with a melee weapon in a world of Railguns and Lightning Guns, but the announcer indulges in the action by calling out the kill with the famous quote, “HUMILIATION!”

1 - The Telefrag

Telefragging has become an art in First-Person Shooters. Suprisingly, telefragging has been around since Doom. The embarrassment still remains impassable in most cases. Gamer A has 12hp, and desperately needs a frag to kill his stacked opponent, Gamer B. With health and armor in the triple digits, Gamer B has no idea where he is standing. Gamer A suddenly enters the entrance to the portal which warps him inside of Gamer B, instantly gibbing him. The player of Gamer B goes on to mash his keyboard in, while Gamer A spams “LOL” a million times through text.


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360 / PS3 / Wii Exclusives Compared

Okay, so its not the prettiest Excel work I've ever seen, but you get the gist of it. And the gist is, the Wii has the quantity, the PS3 has the quality, and the 360 just has both the quantity and quality.



Source


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A History Of Video Gaming In 4 Minutes

(Click the area above to start video)

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